In an effort to humiliate every svelte Wii remote out there, Nintendo is including these new Wii Remote Jackets in all new Wii systems currently shipping. If you bought your Wii a while ago, you can get free Jackets by going here.

Supposedly, these Wii bumpers will reduce the Wii-related fatalities and damage caused by flung remotes. How? With lots of rubber padding! This will aid in better controller grip and more cushion during cranial impacts.

Nintendo points out, even with an attached Wii Remote Jacket, gamers still need to follow procedure and attach the wrist straps properly. Dang!

VICTOR COMMENT: So let me get this straight. We're supposed to wrap our Wiis in a protective rubber coating to prevent unwanted "accidents," but we also need to remember that there's no such thing as guaranteed protection? Okay. Should I tell Nintendo that my older brother asked me to pick up his jacket?